"You know why George Bush has problems speaking, don't you? Drugs. All sorts. Yeah, he's clean now, but back in the day...whooo....lots of cocaine and alcohol. And those are drugs. And they really mess you up, brain cells, and you lose your mind, just like what's happening to Mr. Bush right now."
--a random man on the streetcar, the situation made even more hilarious by the fact that he was talking to no one in particular. No one. Just talking loudly on the streetcar to anyone who would listen, everyone else looking awkwardly at each other with expressions of "Do you know him? because I certainly don't..."
"Yeah, man, I can't get back together with her. I mean, it'll seem great at first, but it's all down hill from there. We still sleep in the same bed and everything, because I can't really kick her out..."
(friend)..."but it's your bed, man, and it's your couch, too!"
..."I know, but come on, she'd hate me."
"Yeah, girls can be vicious. They mess everything up."
"I mean, I'd like to get back together with her, maybe, but this way I can go out and party all the time, you know?"
---two university-aged guys, on the subway, talking about their girl problems.
I have been doing more than just riding public transit listening for interesting stories. In fact, I don't think I'll have the time to people-watch any longer. I must spend every waking hour reading complicated philosophical texts so that I have a clue (maybe?) what everyone else in the class is talking about. I have realized this past week that my philosophical background is seriously lacking, something I intellectually knew before coming here, but brushed off oh-too-quickly. I feel behind from the get-go. I guess it's really just one class that I'm terrified of, the one with all second-year master's students and PhD students in it... I need to do some serious background reading on the big names in philosophy so that when they are dropped into discussions I know what their main ideas were!
I like grad school in general, though. One 3 hour class a week for each of my four classes. And LOTS of reading, but I like reading, so as long as it isn't too cryptic and difficult to read, I'll be ok (let's hope)!
Grad school has been a little depressing for me, though, because everyone has lives (and husbands and wives) outside of school, and I just want to hang out all the time like we did at Dordt. That would probably be harmful for my grades, but still. I miss the community, at the risk of sounding like a giant cliche.
Most of all, I miss hugs.
My mom and dad came last weekend to bring my bed and a bookshelf, both of which were greatly appreciated! Also, in the "greatly appreciated" department, were the groceries that my mom bought for me. All the basics--rice, ww noodles, fruits and veggies, flour and sugar, everything that would be far too heavy for me to carry on public transit. Feeling like I can cook and bake again with a pantry full of groceries means so much more to me than the $100 it cost my parents. Thanks, mom!!
I talked to Ann last night on the phone for a long time, on my finally-hooked-up-phone with 5 cent a minute long distance. It was great to connect with someone who knows me really well again, who knows my history. I again realized that I'm not 'over' or 'healed' after all the emotional trauma of the last semester, and I'm angry about that. Why can't I just get over it, and move on? I'm still hurting too much, still bitter and upset about the whole situation, but wanting so badly to move on.
Well, this was a rather long and disjointed summary of the last week of my life. I apologize. But since you made it this far, thank you.
