Changes come in twos and threes

We're married!!

On December 20, 2009, I married the one I love. And married life is lovely.

Since some of you asked, here are some pictures.

Going to the chapel....

...And we're gonna get maaaaarried!

It's 18 days away!

Preparations are going well--for marriage and for the day of.

Lots of details I never imagined to be important are suddenly quite pressing.

But with the help of Justin, family, friends, and of course, Excel spreadsheets, I feel somewhat calm and excited rather than anxious and frazzled.

Let's hope it continues!

In other news, I'm aaaaalllllmost done my thesis. As in, I think I'm going to submit the FINAL FINAL draft tomorrow evening. Hooray!!! I'll have to defend it in February.

from the mouths of construction workers

A sign spotted yesterday at a construction site at the University of Toronto

from the world of the thesis

I've been doing much reading lately in order to get some grasp on what I am going to start writing my thesis on. Rather, to get background and material from which to spring. Here's something I read in Wendell Berry's "The Unsettling of America" that I found quite interesting (I found the entire book quite interesting, of course--but this particularly caught my eye after having lived in a conservative-Iowa-farming community for four years):

"The curious thing is that many agriculture specialists and "agri-businessmen" see themselves as conservatives. They look with contempt upon governmental "indulgence" of those who have no more "moral fiber" than to accept "handouts" from the public treasury--but they look with equal contempt upon the most traditional and appropriate means of [agricultural] independence. What do such conservatives wish to conserve? Evidently nothing less than the great corporate blocks of wealth and power, in whose every interest is implied the moral degeneracy and economic dependence of the people. They not esteem the possibility of a prospering, independent class of small owners [farmers] because they are, in fact, not conservatives at all, but the most doctrinaire and disruptive of revolutionaries."

On a different note, a paragraph on love from Madeleine L'Engle's journal-like book "Two-Part Invention," in which she is recollecting the early years of her marriage:

"I wrote in my journal how much I missed him, adding: ‘But the wonderful thing, whether we are together or apart, is to know that he is in the world, and that we belong together. And what I must learn is to love with all of me, giving all of me, and yet to remain whole in myself. Any other kind of love is too demanding of the other; it takes, rather than gives. To love so completely that you lose yourself in another person is not good. You are giving a weight, not the sense of lightness and light that loving someone should give. To love wholly, generously, and yet retain the core that makes you you."

If anyone is looking for a good read, do pick up some Madeleine L'Engle. Every single book of hers that I have read has impacted me and taught me about life and faith. Her novels are particularly fabulous...

Oh, and in response to a question in the last post: Justin and I will wed, Lord willing, on Decembber 20 in St. Catharines!

going to the chapel

...and we're gonna get ma-a-a-rried!

Justin and I are engaged! Most of you reading this probably know that, but I thought, hey, it seemed odd not to post about it. We're so excited, and are busily planning for the wedding and for our lives together, when I'm not writing my thesis and when he's not in M.Ed. classes.

If you're still reading this, comment. Otherwise, I just might give up bloggin! I'm finding it harder and harder to know what to write on here...

news from the front

I'm deferring law school. For at least a year. Maybe forever. Lots of reasons for this change. Too many to list here! Ask me if you're interested.

Instead...I'm working part-time at the U of T campus ministry again next year!! I'm thrilled about this. I feel alive there. I know I can serve there.

Here are some wise words from Parker Palmer that I've been contemplating recently...


Our deepest calling is to grow into our own authentic selfhood, whether or not it conforms to some image of who we ought to be. As we do so, we will not only find the joy that every human being seeks--we will also find our path of authentic service in the world. True vocation joins self and service, as Frederick Buechner asserts when he defines vocation as "the place where your deep gladness meets the world's deep need."

Buechner's definition starts with the self and moves toward the needs of the world: it begins, wisely, where vocation begins -- not in what the world needs (which is everything), but in the nature of the human self, in what brings the self joy, the deep joy of knowing that we are here on earth to be the gifts that God created.

Contrary to the conventions of our thinly moralistic culture, this emphasis on gladness and selfhood is not selfish. The Quaker teacher Douglas Steere was fond of saying that the ancient human question "Who am I?" leads inevitably to the equally important question, "Whose am I?" -- for there is no selfhood outside relationship. We must ask the question of selfhood and answer it as honestly as we can, no matter where it takes us. Only as we do so can we discover the community of our lives.

As I learn more about the seed of true self that was planted when I was born, I also learn more about the ecosystem in which I was planted -- the network of communal relations in which I am called to live responsively, accountably, and joyfully with beings of every sort. Only when I know both seed and system, self and community, can I embody the great commandment to love both my neighbour and myself."

May flowers

I feel like I don't really have anything interesting to say... but do feel obligated to update at least once a month! (In case anyone is still reading....)

I'm now in the thick of thesis work. I've yet to finish a course paper and an independent study, so my time is divided three ways (course paper, thesis, independent study) at this point. However, most of my day involves reading--for all three things. Some of the topics overlap, which is convenient, and also makes life more coherent!

I'm loving our new house--'our' being Ann, myself, and Rocky, a co-worker of Ann's who has moved into the third bedroom. It's great to have more space, and some personal space, and I'm still unpacking (books!) and rearranging how I want my room to be set up.

Things are still going wonderfully in the relationship department... Wonderfully. We celebrated 6 months on Friday, with an amazing (and, all a surprise to me) evening in the Distillery District of Toronto--dinner at a fabulous local restaurant, at which I had the tastiest chicken EVER (and it was free-range!), and out to the Soul Pepper theatre to see the Neil Simon play, "The Odd Couple"--wow. The acting was amazing, and the script was hilarious. And, Justin gave me roses... A perfect night, basically. Except it was pouring rain when we got out of the theatre. But hey, it didn't dampen our spirits at all! :)

This weekend is crazy with ICS stuff, and next weekend I'm going to Grand Rapids and Chicago (to see Justin's brother graduate from Calvin Sem and to see my sister and brother-in-law in Chicago). I'm trying to get TONS accomplished during the week so that I can feel guilt-free relaxing on the weekend!